My Brother’s Eyes

I look at my brother and so much floods my mind. 

Tonight, I broke. My heart couldn’t handle the daunting task before me anymore. 

And I took one look at him, and I remembered. 

 

I remembered the task of loving him and leaving him. I remember the ache in my arms until I held him again. I remember sleeping to escape missing him only to see his sweet face in my dreams.
I remembered the beautiful redemption that took place on his gotcha day. I remembered the attachments that came and when he started to say I love you. I remembered the car rides and the rocks to sleep. I remembered him in a family.

I remembered that it was worth it. 

Simon was worth it. These kids are worth it. My God is worth it. 

I have watched Him bring beauty from ashes and I choose to trust Him to do it again.

His plan may not come easily or without a broken heart, but it is beautifully written.

I look at my brother, and this is what I see. I see God’s perfect plan and stunning grace wrapped up in a 3 year old little boy. I can see these kids’ futures when I look at him. I see the Lord give me new assurance and hope when I look at my brother.

The Father gives me peace when I look into my brother’s eyes.

Simon,

I love you with every ounce of my being. The Lord used you mightily tonight & I pray that the profound honor of that will never be lost on you. You are truly a blessing and a gift.

Your big sister,
Katie

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